Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
