You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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