I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
