I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
