"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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