Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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