Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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