Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
