boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
