My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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