Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
