Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Randomize
