Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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