even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize