Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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