So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize