you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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