I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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