if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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