I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
