I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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