During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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