There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
