I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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