your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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