If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
