omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
