How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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