Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
