My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
