Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if only i could text you this smell
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have feelings that need drinking.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
