Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
