found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you would pick up someone in the library
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize