Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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