Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
