I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Randomize
