Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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