Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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