Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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