i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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