Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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