I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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