WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
