I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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