I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
