it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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