he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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