It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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