i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
