We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize