But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize