How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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