I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
