Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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