UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
