it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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