I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
