idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
