where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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