This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
