Non-Jews are for practice
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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