Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
