Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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