spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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