we have officially lost it.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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