I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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