i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize