Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
